IT MATTERS

That's right. It's an online dating tagline...something that some estimated 35 million people have written for themselves in an effort to find that "special someone". In fact, online dating is one of the top three ways to meet people these days. (And no...this doesn't apply to any third world country that still does arranged marriages...which I actually think hold some merit...) So, if you strike out at work and your friends are terrible at setting you up and you don't live in India...there's always plan CD - the Cyber Date! Because let's be honest, we all know that friend of a friend who met that guy online and now they're engaged and looking for a house in town together and are just stupid happy that they spent those teensy weensy 20 bucks a month to find their BFF that they can LOL with till they RIP.

So, we hold our breath and signup for that "free trial" and try our best to be witty and interesting without seeming too self-involved in that personal profile, all the while telling ourselves that we really do still look like we did five years ago in that awesome picture on the beach we posted...

What happened to people actually meeting people?

I heard the other day (and I must admit that I I couldn't find any solid articles backing this claim up) that one out of every eight couples found their significant other online. WHAT!? I won't even order jeans online...because they're shown on bulimorexic models who make EVERYTHING look unbelievably great (great emphasis on the UNBELIEVABLY part). And now I'm supposed to just order up some hot love with a few clicks and an e-mail? I feel so old and...dated. Or un-dated rather. (sigh)

I must admit...I've fallen prey to the whole 'E-TruePerfectMatch' phenomenon and tried my hand at internet dating. Yes, I've smirked in disbelief that Johnny123 in Wyoming makes 45-75 grand a year but can't properly use 'there'...or 'their'...or 'they're'. And no...I'm not attracted to your flexing-in-the-bathroom-with-your-shirt-off-while-coincidentally-taking-a-picture thing you've got going on.

Ah yes...and the decapitated ex that is in all but one of your pictures. Really? I mean...really? Or my favorite: The Denial. This usually goes something like this: "Can't believe I'm on this site and it's my first time doing something like this and my friends signed me up and blah blah BLAH..."

Read as: "I have a hard time admitting that I have a hard time meeting people I want to meet". Umm...it's not like the people who will be reading your profile aren't online for the same reason and probably won't hold it against you that you're also fishing in the cyber waters...is that only obvious to me?

Here's to 2009 where dating means meeting people that may (or may not) exist and may (or may not) look like that and may (but probably do not) know how to spell. Ahh...the ambient blue glow of a computer screen...the sound of a keyboard clacking....it's a little like falling in love.